Greetings on behalf of the 63d RD,
Woulda, shoulda and coulda are words that are all wrapped within the word: regret. The word is defined as: “verb (used with an object), re-gret-ted, re-gret-ting, to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it. To think of with a sense of loss: to regret one’s vanished youth,” (dictionary.com).
During this time of Covid-19 restrictions of movement you might find that you have more time on your hands to right the ‘wouldas, shouldas and couldas’ that you have been avoiding or not doing in the past. I am guessing that you have heard the saying, “It is never too late to be what you might have been,” George Eliot; or “It’s never too late to become the person you are capable of being,” Picture Quotes. Or my favorite picture quote next to a male lion, the king of the jungle: “It’s never too late to start over. It’s never too late to change. It’s never too late to be happy. It’s never too late to change directions. It’s never too late to say, ‘This isn’t how the story is going to end,’” selfhelpdaily.com.
Recently I heard someone say, “forgiveness takes courage.” A lion has a lot of courage, or is a symbol of courage in the animal kingdom. I think that in the human kingdom ‘forgiveness’ is the symbol of courage for our own wellbeing, and for others, often, to be able to move forward and work out or within those wouldas, shouldas and couldas. Perhaps to begin you need to first forgive yourself, and then perhaps others. It is easier to walk ten miles in victory, than one mile in defeat. We are our worst critics or judges. Give yourself some grace. Admit your wrongs and failures, but they don’t have to define you.
This is the foundation for righting or doing all of things that you feel you need to say or do that will carry you within this life. When we are able to lay down regrets and pick up ‘will dos,’ then one can walk with a lighter step and be more fulfilled within; and this makes it possible to be more at peace with the world, even if that world is fearful or not so peaceful around us. We can carry a world of stability within us that enables us to be stronger on the outside. But, none of this can be done without that first step beyond regret and into doing the wouldas, shouldas and couldas.
“You’ve got to learn to survive a defeat. That’s when you develop character.” Richard Nixon
“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou
My prayer for today:
Lord, walk with us in our regrets and help us to look inwards where they have festered and grown. Help us to clear out the weeds within our life. Help us to give ourselves the same forgiveness we often give to others, and then help us to walk through what we should, could and would have done if we have the courage to go there. Lord grant us that courage, amen.
CH (MAJ) Dawn Siebold
Here is the direct email and phone number for anyone requesting support
From the 63d RD Chaplain office,
usarmy.usarc.63-rsc.list.chaplain-all-users@mail.mil
650-526-9668