Greeting
Hello, and peace to you today. This is CH (MAJ) Patty Jenkins with the 63d Readiness Division.
Message
I had a spicy interaction with an ER nurse recently at the hospital where I work. Basically, we were both amped up, moving too fast, and our hard heads collided. Her harsh words stung and my feelings were hurt. I am grateful that I advocated for myself; I was in my lane. I am even more grateful that I listened to the voice in my head that suggested, “You might not be completely right about this.” Listening to the wise Mini Me kept me from making things worse, and left the door ajar for reconciliation.
I wasn’t proud about getting into a squabble at work. I told my supervisor right away and his support and guidance helped me calm down. The next day, I found myself telling the other chaplains about what happened. Even though I felt they would have handled it differently (aka “better”), they did not judge me. I had no reason to feel defensive which freed me to feel other stuff, like compassion. Instead of defending myself, I wondered how the chaplains could show more love to the tremendously stressed ER staff. Suddenly we found ourselves excited to create a space where the nurses could go for a little restoration.
I told this story to my Vet Center counselor. At first, the story was just about successfully working with my anger. But as he quietly listened, I realized something I hadn’t seen before. I went from snapping to stomping to sorry to synergy. Snapping and stomping I did all on my own. I also slowed myself down enough to show some maturity and step away. But I only got to compassion and creativity by connecting with others. I meekly told my counselor, “I couldn’t do it on my own.”
How many times will I need to learn this lesson? Of course I couldn’t do it on my own! I needed to risk telling my colleagues my feelings were hurt to receive their sympathy and understanding. Together, I became unbound and we created new possibilities.
Blessing
May you be blessed with listeners and the willingness to talk. May you know the power of “we.”
Here is the direct email and phone number for anyone requesting support
From the 63d RD Chaplain office,
usarmy.usarc.63-rsc.list.chaplain-all-users@mail.mil
650-526-9668